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Kat Nieh
Clarity coach writing about improving your mindset, relationship with yourself & others, and kindness | Adventure seeker | Curious rabbit hole diver

Holding onto grudges doesn’t do you any good

Graphic by Kat Nieh (author). Photo by Igor Stevanoic via Canva.

If an apology is for others, then forgiveness is for yourself. When you forgive yourself, you are bestowing a truly precious gift that is so healing.

Imagine carrying a backpack where you put in rocks of various sizes depending on the gravity of the guilt, shame, blame, and pain you choose to hold onto. Throughout life, that bag has been getting heavier and heavier, weighing you down. It doesn’t matter whether you picked up that rock yourself through self judgment or if someone else handed it to you by…

It’s your love, attention, and presence that is needed.

Graphic by Kat Nieh (author). Photo by Nikolay Zaiarnyi via Canva.

I admit I am a problem solver. My mind can quickly shift into that mode and search for solutions. Even though it’s coming from a place of wanting to help, there are times when a solution isn’t what’s needed.

It’s more about your presence, your attention, and your love, especially from our loved ones. They are approaching you for a very particular reason because of who you are and the relationship you’ve built with them. Being able to listen to them your full attention is truly a gift of kindness and compassion. Listen intently to what they are sharing with…

Slow down and enjoy the little things in life

Graphic by Kat Nieh (author). Photo by JamesDeMers via Canva.

The fast pace of life has become our norm. We are constantly being mentally and visually stimulated by our devices. We’ve been trained to multitask. It’s a nonstop chase from one thing to another.

The pandemic has sent lots of people’s lives to a screeching halt to see what’s really important or what hasn’t been working well in their lives. Some channeled that void into something else or got even busier with additional responsibilities.

No matter where you are in that spectrum, stopping and smelling the roses is an act of…

…while the effects of politeness and courtesy quickly fade

Graphic by Kat Nieh (author). Photo by jakkapan sapmuangphan via Canva.

According to Tony Robbins, we have 6 core needs that fundamentally drive and motivate all human behavior: certainty, variety, love, significance, growth, and contribution. The actions and results from kindness feed into 3 of these 6 core needs:

  • You are to others by creating a sense of service as you help those in need.
  • That builds as you feel like you are needed and making a difference to others. Oftentimes, you could be rewarded with recognition for your good deeds.
  • You are receiving through the fulfillment you experience and the connections you’re making—however brief the interaction might…

How to find your bearings again and slow down time

Photo by Djim Loic on Unsplash

Time is just flying by at a rate that it feels so unreal. How did the week or month disappear already? It feels like I’m in walking through life in a trance—in a blink of an eye, another hour has passed. Did that task really take me that long to work on? I thought I would’ve been done by now. I thought I would’ve been accomplished much more by now with half of 2021 gone already.

I feel like a dinky raft floating aimlessly on rough seas. Whenever a larger wave passes through, I’m gripping onto the edges for my…

Someone you know deserves some more recognition

Graphic by Kat Nieh (author). Photo by EvaKaufman via Canva.

You can never say thank you enough. Everyone likes being appreciated—yup, even those who don’t say much, especially the silent hard workers who see what they do as the “norm” or say that “anyone else would do the same”. Unfortunately, their kindness is often taken for granted.

You can do a little something for them that’ll demonstrate what they’ve done hasn’t gone unnoticed. Because noticed. You appreciate them. You have personally experienced how what they do matters.

Send a gratitude message to someone who deserves some recognition for all they silently…

Use our differences to our advantage, not our detriment

Graphic by Kat Nieh (author). Photo by LPETTET via Canva.

People are complex. Not one person is identical to another, even identical twins. Our background, our experiences, our knowledge, and our personalities all make us unique like snowflakes.

We ebb and flow between wanting to be the same as our peers while also wanting to stand out from the pack. The choice is ours when we seek commonality and understanding versus pointing out the differences and casting judgment onto others. The latter creates division, alienation, and competition.

So instead of being quick to judge and discriminate, seek understanding and compassion instead. Understanding unites. It allows people to work towards a…

Saying “I’m sorry” can be the end of the statement

Graphic by Kat Nieh (author). Photo by Scott Webb via Canva.

“I’m sorry, but…” is not an apology. There cannot be a “but” after a sincere apology since grammatically the word “but” negates everything you said in that sentence prior. What you’re actually saying is “nope, I’m not sorry at all. Let me just talk at you more, because I believe my behavior was justified.” You think you’re clever, but the other person does see through that whether they’re consciously aware of it or not.

And is a start of a debate — two sides declaring their justifications. Neither side is…

How to deliver an effective apology and move on from the situation

Photo by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash

We had a fight. Both of us lit up. Feelings hurt. Resolution nowhere to be found. I can feel my skin prickling up like a porcupine trying to protect myself from a predator attacking my pride.

I knew I was in the wrong. I apologized and acknowledged how I acted made him feel. I also wanted him to understand where I was coming from, so I kept on explaining away.

Well, it was as if a loud buzzer went off telling me I got the wrong answer on a game show. NOPE, didn’t…

Go stretch yourself

Graphic by Kat Nieh (author). Photo by Milovan Zrnic via Canva.

You can learn a lot about yourself when you stretch beyond your comfort zone—stretching yourself into directions you haven’t expected in order to be who you want to become.

In the process of becoming a better version of yourself, you often step into directions of:


Kat Nieh

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